Disclaimer: This particular post is mainly for my own peace of mind. I have very many things I need to get off of my chest, and out of my head, for the sake of my own sanity. I don't care if anybody reads this, or even comments. You can if you want, but it's not necessary.
I've been feeling very...not me...lately. I've been having more anxiety issues, and panic attacks than I ever have before, especially when I wake up. And if you know me, you know I rarely, if at all, have panic/anxiety attacks. It's been bothering me a lot lately, and I've been doing a lot of thinking, and introspection, trying to figure out just what my problem is, and why I've been feeling this way. And I think I've come up with some reasonable reasons.
My family and I have recently uprooted ourselves from our home in Wisconsin, to Georgia. We don't have a place of our own yet, and instead are staying with my boyfriend Dave's parents. That is reason number one. Stress and attitudes are high, and nothing we do is good enough for them. I wake up nervous, and anxious, wondering what kind of mood they're in. Are they angry? Are they frustrated? The feeling doesn't go away until I venture downstairs and see, obviously, but there are times where I just don't want to. I do it, and usually feel better after I do, regardless of their mood.
Reason number 2: we don't have a place of our own yet. Kinda ties in with the above reason. Living in someone else's house, we're subject to their rules. Fine, I can deal with that, but after awhile, one needs their own space. Their own haven, where they can make their own rules, and live how they want. That will come with time, and I know I have to be patient, but my patience is beginning to wear thin.
Reason number 3: Georgia doesn't feel quite like "home" yet. All three kinda tie in together. Because we're staying in someone else's home, and don't have one of our own, I feel more like a visitor here. On the days the anxiety threatens to tear me apart, my brain screams at me that we need to go home. The logical part of me says we already are, but the emotional part doesn't listen.
I know it will all fall into place once we have our own place, but I'm losing my patience, and it seems my sanity, in the process. I'm trying so very hard to hold it together, and Dave and Jolly are helping me, but sometimes I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams.
I've been feeling very...not me...lately. I've been having more anxiety issues, and panic attacks than I ever have before, especially when I wake up. And if you know me, you know I rarely, if at all, have panic/anxiety attacks. It's been bothering me a lot lately, and I've been doing a lot of thinking, and introspection, trying to figure out just what my problem is, and why I've been feeling this way. And I think I've come up with some reasonable reasons.
My family and I have recently uprooted ourselves from our home in Wisconsin, to Georgia. We don't have a place of our own yet, and instead are staying with my boyfriend Dave's parents. That is reason number one. Stress and attitudes are high, and nothing we do is good enough for them. I wake up nervous, and anxious, wondering what kind of mood they're in. Are they angry? Are they frustrated? The feeling doesn't go away until I venture downstairs and see, obviously, but there are times where I just don't want to. I do it, and usually feel better after I do, regardless of their mood.
Reason number 2: we don't have a place of our own yet. Kinda ties in with the above reason. Living in someone else's house, we're subject to their rules. Fine, I can deal with that, but after awhile, one needs their own space. Their own haven, where they can make their own rules, and live how they want. That will come with time, and I know I have to be patient, but my patience is beginning to wear thin.
Reason number 3: Georgia doesn't feel quite like "home" yet. All three kinda tie in together. Because we're staying in someone else's home, and don't have one of our own, I feel more like a visitor here. On the days the anxiety threatens to tear me apart, my brain screams at me that we need to go home. The logical part of me says we already are, but the emotional part doesn't listen.
I know it will all fall into place once we have our own place, but I'm losing my patience, and it seems my sanity, in the process. I'm trying so very hard to hold it together, and Dave and Jolly are helping me, but sometimes I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams.
