It's been one of those days again. I've felt useless, ugly and stupid, again. I was fine for most of the day, but then, all of a sudden, BAM! I was hit by a mack truck. I suddenly had this very strong urge to just burst into tears. I didn't really know why. It didn't really have a reason. I've been chatting with a friend who's been having some problems, so maybe I opened myself up too much again. I have a tendency of doing that. Whatever it was, it made all my insecurities surge to the surface, nearly overwhelming me. I fought through it, but I still don't feel right. I still feel a little weepy.
I'm the kind of person that has a hard time reaching out to people, and talking about how I feel. Makes me feel like an idiot sometimes, even though I shouldn't. Writing helps though. So here I am, typing this out. This isn't what I had planned on writing for my next blog, but there it is. Read it if you dare. ;)
About Me
- Dee
- I'm a music obsessed pyromaniac with a vampire fetish. I love bacon and I tend to curse...a lot. Oh, and my mind has taken up permanent residence in the gutter.
8 comments:
You sound like me.
Sometimes when we lend ourselves as shoulders for others to lean on, we lend more than just that shoulder. We lend our heart and our own feelings and, while this helps them out, we end up "feeding" from their emotions, their energy, and it causes us to feel the same way they do.
I think this has also been an emotional week for many. Earlier this week, I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Today, I'm fine.
I've also learned that the mind of a woman is fickle; it never knows what it wants or if the feelings one is having are true feelings or if they're residual.
Hugs and love. =) And boobs. (.)(.)
I love you to death Dee, always. Just remember that. :)
I love you darling! I want you to feel happy. I hope that I can help contribute to that. :)
I'm always here for you. *HUGSSSSSSS*
Thanks Tam. Especially for the boobs. ;) I have that issue where I feed off of others' emotions and energy when trying help them. I think that was my problem yesterday, as the feeling to cry just came out of nowhere, with no discernible cause. I'm better today now. Still have some residual feelings, but better nonetheless.
I know you do, Michelle. :) Some days, though, it feels like I'm all alone.
Bekah, I know you are, but you're always busy, and can be a bit hard to get a hold of. Plus, sometimes it's hard for me to talk to anyone, because it feels like I'm getting upset over stupid things. :)
Often times when a mood comes out of you so suddenly like that and there's no reason for you to feel that way, it may be a sign of an emotional disorder or a chemical imbalance -- both can be triggered by something you come across during the day. It sounds like you have determined what your trigger today may have been. Keep writing about it and encourage some good "self talk" on your blog or in a notebook and I'm sure you'll get to the bottom of it!
I'm not a doctor, just a good friend, and, whether you know it or not, I suffer from Bi-polar disorder type 2 and severe panic disorder. I've been there! Been there and back to live the tale.
Just take it easy on yourself. Realize you're not alone. And, above all, remember you are loved! *HUGS*
Oh, I wanted to add to this that you may also be EMPATHIC, dear. When you're sensitive to other people's emotions it isn't hard to take on another person's emotional "body" -- happens to me a lot, too. I hope you're feeling much better NOW.
And.... I'm giving you another (.)(.) just because they are awesome!!! Yay.
I'm glad I could be there. =) Here are more bewbs. (.)(.)
Here are bewbs from a botched surgery.
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